Genius and the Beast
by sakuramae
Summary: READ IT! This is the parody of a Disney classic many children love and grew up with. Of course, with a slight twist to the tale, that is. RR I'm begging you!
1. Default Chapter

Genius and the Beast

*NOTE* - Okay, obviously, the characters don't belong to me. They all belong to CLAMP, and I am merely borrowing them for this fanfic. Beauty and the Beast is a trademark to Disney, and I do not own the story. And I would give some credit to lemistressv who has inspired me to writing this story. Also, if you like this one, why don't you try and read my Count of Monte Cephiro pic? That one is finished......it was only a suggestion... Well, that's about it. 

Characters:

Houoji Fuu – Genius

Ferio – the Beast

Geo Metro – Bad guy

Zazu – Bad guy's assistant

Ascot – Genius' father

Eagle Vision – Candlestick

Kailu Lantis – Clock

Ryuuzaki Umi – Teapot

Clef – Teacup

Shidou Hikaru – Wardrobe

Tatra, Tarta, Caldina – Bad guy admirers

Presea – Broom

Aska – Narrator

Mokona - Director

Scene 1

(Aska enters, with a book in her hands. She is smiling, a bit too widely)

Aska: Today, I'm about to tell you a story. (lifts her hand to her chin) Ohohohohohoho! Ehem…(starts to sing) This is the story, of a lovely lady! (hums to the Brady Bunch theme)

Sang Yung: Lady Aska, I think you have the wrong storybook.

Aska: Oh, right. Ehem…There once was a castle where lived a snobbish and ugly looking prince. He was spoiled, selfish, and unkind.

Ferio: HEY!

Aska: (glares) And…one day, since he was sooo ugly, an old beggar woman came to his castle, begging for food and shelter. In return for her safe being, she offered him a single golden arrow with pure white feathers at the top.

Sang Yung: What does his ugliness have to do with her begging for food in his castle?

Aska: Be quiet and let me finish. Now, the prince, since he was very snobbish, and he thought that the old beggar woman was very stupid, so he turned her down. The beggar woman told him not to be deceived by appearances, for true intelligence is found within. The prince still kept dismissing her! So, the woman turned into Albert Einstein! The prince tried to beg for mercy, but Albie said, "Mercy's for the weak!" and turned the prince into….A FROG!

Ferio: BEAST!!! BEAST!!

Sang Yung: Wrong story again, Lady Aska.

Aska: (frowned) Fine! I liked my version better! Well, anyway…

Ferio: (mutters to himself) Why is Aska the storyteller anyway?

Fuu: That's because she forced the director to.

Ferio: And who's the director?

Fuu: (points) Mokona….

Ferio: Figures….

Aska: (is still telling the story) The arrow was enchanted and it will wilt after his 21st birthday.

Ferio: How does an arrow wilt?

Fuu: Will you just listen to the story?

Aska: So, the beast hid away in his enchanted palace with an enchanted arrow. And the only way to break the spell was to get a facelift! Okay, okay, he had to open his heart to a woman with great knowledge and beauty. And in return, the woman would also have to love this beast in return. But who would? He's so ugly! And so begins the story of the Genius and the Beast.

Sang Yung: (claps) Bravo! That was beautiful, Lady Aska!

Aska: (bows) Of course, Sang Yung. I'm an expert!

Ferio: NEXT SCENE!

Scene 2

(scene opens up to a small village in Cephiro, and Fuu enters, carrying a small basket and a book)

Fuu: (starts to sing)

Little town, it's a quiet village.  
Ev'ry day like the one before.  
Little town, full of little people,  
waking up to say:

Mokona: (pops up) PU PU!

Lafarga: Bonjour!

Ferio: This is ruined!

Lafarga: (glaring at Ferio) Bonjour!

Mokona: PU PU!

Fuu: (sighs then continues, pointing at Lafarga)

There goes the baker with his tray, like always,  
the same old bread and rolls to sell.  
Ev'ry morning just the same,  
since the morning that we came,  
to this poor provincial town.

Lafarga: Mornin', Fuu!

Fuu: Morning, Monsieur Lafarga!

Lafarga: Where are you off to?

Fuu: The bookshop, of course! I just finished the most wonderful story – about a beanstalk and an ogre and…

Lafarga: That's nice. Mokona, the baguettes! Hurry up!

Fuu: (getting angry) I wasn't finished yet!

Lafarga: You're not supposed to!

(Fuu turns away, and Caldina, Presea, Tarta, and Tatra stare at her.)

Caldina, Presea, Tarta. Tatra:

Look, there she goes-  
That girl is strange, no question.  
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?

Presea: Never part of any crowd!

Tarta: 'Cause her head's upon some cloud.

Tatra: (giggles) Tarta, your accent!

Tarta: Sister!

Caldina and Presea: (ignoring the Chizetan princess) No denying she's a funny girl that Fuu!

Lafarga: Bonjour!

Caldina: Aaaaah!!!

Lafarga: What?

Caldina: You scared me!

Presea: Good day!

Lafarga: How is your family?

Tatra: Bonjour!

Lafarga: Good day!

Tarta: How is your wife?

Lafarga: Wife? I don't have one!

Caldina: I need six eggs!

Lafarga: That's too expensive!

Fuu: (singing above the rest) There must be more than this provincial life!

(Fuu runs into a building and screams as she sees Lafarga)

Fuu: You're the librarian, too?

Lafarga: Why not? Ah, Fuu!

Fuu: Er…good morning, Monsieur Lafarga, again. I'm here to return this biology book I borrowed.

Lafarga: (looks strangely at her) My goodness, a 5000-page book done, already? In two days? Do you have a life?

Fuu: Oh, I couldn't put it down. Do you have anything new?

Lafarga: You read my library dry, you freak!

Fuu: How rude! (smiles) But that's okay, I'll borrow this one!

Lafarga: A calculus book? You've read that twice? Haven't you memorized everything?

Fuu: Well, it's my favorite! Quadratic equations, the many decimals, fractions, magic tricks, and even architecture you could do!

Lafarga: (is disgusted) Geesh, if you like it that much, you can have it!

Fuu: But, sir!

Lafarga: Keep it!

Fuu: Well, thank you! Thank you very much!

(Fuu walks out, starting to read the book while walking and bumping into things.)

Lafarga and Sang Yung: Look, there she goes.  
The girl is so peculiar!  
I wonder if she's feeling well.  
Caldina and Presea: With a dreamy far off look.

Lafarga and Sang Yung: And her nose stuck in a book.

Everyone: What a puzzle to the rest of us is Fuu!

(Fuu sits on a fountain and keeps reading)

Fuu: Now isn't this marvelous!  
It's my favorite part because--you'll see!  
Here's where we learn quadratic equations.  
But you won't discover the formula 'til chapter three!  
(In a hairdresser shop, Lafarga is messing up Caldina's hair)

Caldina: Ouch! Now it's no wonder that her name means 'Wind'.  
Her speediness of reading have got no parallel!

Lafarga: (trying to sing in a French accent)

But behind that fair facade, I'm afraid she's rather odd.  
Very different from the rest of us.

Presea and Caldina: She's nothing like the rest of us.  
Yes, different from the rest of us is Fuu!

(Fuu passes by Geo and Zazu)

Geo: (tried to shoot a bird, but accidentally shoots somebody's hat instead) Dammit!

Zazu: (smacks head and pretending to be amazed) Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Geo. You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!  
Geo: I know.

Zazu: (coughs) Yeah right. Ehem…No hat alive…I mean, no beast alive stands a chance against you…and no girl for that matter.

Geo: It's true, Zazu. And I've got my sights set on that one. (points at Mokona)

Zazu: (stares) Mokona?

Geo: NO! That one! (points at Fuu)

Zazu: Oh…the Beast Summoner's daughter?

Geo: She's the one, the lucky girl I'm going to marry.

Zazu: But she's…

Geo: The most intelligent girl in town!

Zazu: I know, but…

Geo: That makes her the best! And don't I deserve the best?

Zazu: You suck! I mean…of course you do, but…

Geo: (sings, to everyone's dismay) Right from the moment when I met her, saw her,  
I said, "She's intelligent" and I fell.  
Here in town there's only she who is as intelligent as me.  
So I'm making plans to woo and marry Fuu!

Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina: (starts to swoon as Geo passes them and start to sing)

Look there he goes.  
Isn't he dreamy?  
Monsieur Geo, oh he's so cute!  
Be still, my heart, I'm hardly breathing.  
He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute!

(A bunch of people start to argue, mainly, Lafarga, Mokona, and Presea, while Geo tries to get to Fuu.)

Geo: GET OUT OF MY WAY!

Fuu: There must be more than this provincial life!

Geo: Just watch I'm going to make Fuu my wife!

Everyone in town: Look, there she goes.  
The girl is strange, but special.  
A most peculiar mademoiselle!  
It's a pity and a sin she doesn't quite fit in.  
But she really is a funny girl.  
A nerdy and a funny girl.  
She really is a funny girl, that Fuu!

Mokona: PU PU!

Lafarga: Bonjour!

Tarta: Bonjour!

Geo: (a bit too loudly) Bonjour!

(Fuu looks around, then continues to read, until Geo pops up in front of her)

Geo: Fuu!

Fuu: Bonjour, Geo.

Geo: What's this? (grabs book)

Fuu: It's a book. Can you please give it back?

Geo: But there aren't any pictures! What the heck are…quad…qua-der-ia…

Fuu: It's QUADRATIC! QUADRATIC EQUATIONS!

Geo: Oh, posh, why read all this? (throws book into the mud) You should pay attention to more important things, like me.

Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina: (swoons)

Fuu: (nods) Yes, and I see that I need to help my father right now.

Zazu: You mean that crazy old coot? BWAHAHAHA!

Geo: HAHAHAHA!

Fuu: My father is not crazy! He is a genius Beast Summoner!

(They could hear an explosion from the Beast Summoner's cottage. Fuu ran towards the explosion, as everyone else laughed. Geo smacked Zazu just because he felt like it.)

Caldina: Who does she think she is?

Tarta: She's strange.

Tatra: He's so gorgeous!

Tarta and Caldina: You really are playing your part very well, Tatra.

Tatra: Who said I was playing? (giggle)

Tarta: SISTER!

Ferio: (sighs) Alright, next scene.

Scene 3

(An explosion and a roar could be heard from a small cottage in the middle of nowhere. Fuu hurried to her father's cottage.)

Fuu: (throwing open the door) Father! What's happening?!

Ascot: Argh! I summoned the wrong beast again!

Fuu: (sighs) That's okay, father. Um…do you think I'm weird?

Ascot: Well, you read calculus, biology, chemistry, and forensic books, for goodness sakes! What kind of weirdo does that?

Fuu: Hey! That's not in the line!

Ascot: (says in an unemotional voice) No, you aren't weird, Fuu. You're just interested in things that people think are weird that's all. It helps to be different.

Fuu: Yes, but, I don't fit in here. There's hardly anyone I could talk to.

Ascot: How about Geo? He's a brilliant fellow.

Fuu: (gags) BRILLIANT? Uhm…I mean, he's brilliant, handsome, conceited, self-centered, too much steroids, and other things that we don't have in common.

Ascot: That's your problem, then. I can't do much of anything for you until I Summon this beast right.

Fuu: Well, when is this Beast Summoning fair of yours?

Ascot: I'm leaving tonight, actually. Anything you want me to get you?

Fuu: How about a book?

Ascot: Anything but a book!

Fuu: (looks thoughtful) Um…oh! A golden arrow! That would be really cool!

Ascot: (sweatdrop) Um…okay, daughter dear. I'll be gone for a fortnight, so take care of yourself, and don't marry Geo or anything.

Fuu: Right, right.

(Ascot leaves the cottage)

Scene 4

(Ascot is flying on his bird that he summoned, with Mokona at the back. The woods were getting scarier than ever. Even Mokona was wimpering.)

Mokona: Pu pu pu pu pu…..pu pu pu pu…

Ascot: Shut up, you fluffball. I'm thinking here.

Mokona: (angrily) PU PU!

Ascot: Hey! Where are you going? Mokona!

(Mokona leaves, taking Ascot's pet away as well.)

Ascot: Hey! Mokona! You can't take my friend! How am I going to the Beast Summoner's fair?

(A bunch of weird freaky monsters were coming his way. The freakiest were the Chizetan princesses' Djinn, who were leading Aska's creations with them. Ascot began to scream like a girl and ran as fast as he could to Clef's castle.)

Ascot: HELP HELP! LET ME IN!!! LET ME IN!! (pushes open the door and barges inside the castle) Ooh…warm. Hello! Is anybody home?

(two little figures are in the distance)

Ascot: I know someone's got to be in here! Answer me! I'm lost, you know! And cold, and hungry, and MOKONA TOOK MY RIDE HOME!

(In the distance, a guy dressed as a candle and a guy dressed as a clock were fighting each other.)

Lantis: Don't say anything. Just don't say anything!

Eagle: Oh, Lantis, he's tired, and hungry. Mon dieu…He needs some rest. (saying out loud to Ascot) Why of course you could come in! Here, let me show you to a warmer room!

Ascot: (scratches head) Who's there? (tries to grab Eagle, but sees that the candle was almost as tall as he is, so he just pushes Eagle around) Who just said that?

Eagle: (smiles and taps Ascot's head)

Ascot: AAAH!!! A TALKING CANDLE!

Eagle: Eh…It's only me…Eagle.

Ascot: I thought you were dead!

Lantis: Eagle…I told you not to say anything!

Eagle: It's too late now. Come on now, monsieur. We have a warm fireplace right here.

Lantis: No, no, no, no, no, no! We can't have him traipsing about without the master's consent! He's going to kill us!

(in the shadows, a beast lurks by)

Ascot: (warms himself by the fake fire) It's still cold! I mean…ah…nice and warm. Let me sit at this nice chair.

Lantis: (smacks himself) Not the master's seat!

(Umi comes in, as a teapot, and Clef, as the teacup)

Umi: Would you like some spot of tea?

Ascot: Yeah! (picks up the cup, then looks at it, and screams) OH MY!

Clef: (looks evilly) Yeah? You have a problem, Ascot?

Ascot: Um…Clef? I thought this was your castle?

Clef: (shrugs) I didn't get the main male lead, so I'm stuck being the stupid teacup.

Ascot: Hehe…hey, Umi, is he your son?

Umi: (fumes) You better get back to your lines, Ascot, or else someone will be on the floor, dead.

Clef: Who's laughing now?

(they hear a roar)

Ferio: ROAR!

Tatra: (giggles) Ferio, you sound so cute!

Ferio: (blush blush) Tatra! I'm supposed to sound scary!

Umi: (sweatdrop) Who made Ferio beast anyway?

Eagle: (whispers) That's because Fuu was a good genius…

Umi: Oh, right.

Ferio: (barges in) Who are you? What are you doing in my castle?!

Clef: It isn't your castle, it's mine.

Ferio: Shut up, you teacup!

Clef: HEY!

Umi: Don't scream at my baby!

Eagle: Guys, let's not be too violent…

Lantis: I told you not to say anything.

Eagle: I wasn't talking to you…

Ascot: AAAAH!!! IT'S THE…Ferio?

Ferio: BEAST!

Ascot: IT'S THE BEAST!

Ferio: Why are you here? Get out!

Ascot: Please, sir, I was only here for room and board. I can explain. I needed a place to stay…

Ferio: Oh, if that's the case, then, follow me!

Ascot, Lantis, and Clef: Huh?

Ferio: You heard me, I'll show you to your room.

Clef: (exploding) You're supposed to drag him to the dungeon!

Ferio: (glares) What did I tell you, teacup?!?! SHUT UP!

Umi: WHAT DID I TELL YOU, FERIO?!?! DON'T SCREAM AT MY BABY!

Ascot: (stands up) Alright, I'll go with you.

Ferio: That's better.

(As Ascot and Ferio leave the room, Umi, Clef, Eagle, Lantis, and Tatra look at each other with regret.)

Scene 5

(outside of Fuu's cottage, Geo and the rest of the village are standing, with a bunch of party favors of some sort)

Presea: This is a planned wedding?

Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina: (weeping) Geo's getting married! And not to us!

Lafarga: You people have no life.

Geo: (clears throat) Okay, Zazu. Zazu? ZAZU!

Zazu: Right behind you, sir!

Geo: Zazu, remember, when Fuu and I come out of that house, you…

Zazu: I know…I shoot both of you down with this golden arrow.

Geo: Hey! How'd you get that? That was supposed to be in Ferio's castle.

Clef: IT'S MY CASTLE!

Geo: Put that back! And you're supposed to strike up the band with a wedding tune!

Zazu: Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I got ya.

Geo: Good. Now, I'm going to propose to my bride! (walks to Fuu's door and barges in) Fuu! Just the person I was looking for!

Fuu: Um…Sir Geo, what brings you here today?

Geo: Why, you of course! Fuu, I want you to become my wife!

Fuu: WHAT?!

Geo: Be my little wife, and we'll make lots of genius children! Think about it!

Fuu: Um…No, I don't think so.

Geo: Do not think to refuse me, Fuu.

Fuu: (opens door and pushes Geo outside, smiling) I can't Geo. It seems that I'm a bit…too undeserving of you.

(from outside, Geo is shrieking like a girl)

Geo: AAH!!! GET AWAY FROM ME, MOKONA!

Mokona: PU PU PU!

Zazu: How can I help you, Geo?

Geo: Get this fluffball away from me!

(inside the house)

Fuu: (makes a disgusted face) Well, can anyone imagine, he asked me to marry him! Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless...  
"Madame Geo"-- can't you just see it?  
"Madame Geo"-- his "little wife".  
No sir, not me! I guarantee it.  
I want much more than this provincial life!  
(Fuu runs out of the house and into a garden, where she smells the fresh air and starts to cough hysterically, then begins to sing again)  
I want adventure in the great wide somewhere.  
I want it more than I can tell.  
And for once it might be grand,  
to have someone understand.  
I want so much more than they've got planned...

(Mokona comes over and Fuu looked suspiciously)

Fuu: What's wrong, Mokona? What has happened to my father?

Mokona: PU PU PU!

Fuu: What? He got lost?

Ascot: HEY! MOKONA!! YOU TOOK MY RIDE AWAY!

Mokona: PU!

Fuu: And he's in danger?! Oh my! It seems I have to go and save him! Come on, Mokona! You have to show me the way!

~Whoo.....that was long! Okay, what do you think of it so far? I'm going to post the next part if I get at least 2 or 3 good reviews. If not, then I'll take this story down and just place it in my website...just take your time to review it please, if you read it. 


	2. Scenes 6 and 7

Okay, here goes the next part, actually, the next two scenes. Hope you enjoy, this took me quite a while, since I was running out of ideas. Remember to review and tell me how it is! Also, consider reading Count of Monte Cephiro as well, please. Enjoy!

~Alright, I forgot to add Scene 6. So, for those of you who read this chapter and missed a scene, I'm truly sorry. Well, what are you waiting for? READ IT!

Scene 6

(Mokona stops in front of Clef's castle. Fuu looks around and spots Ascot's hat.)

Fuu: Look! Father is here!

(Fuu enters the castle. Eagle and Lantis look up to see Fuu.)

Lantis: (glaring) Don't you dare say anything.

Eagle: It's a girl!

Lantis: I know it's a girl!

Eagle: She's the one! The girl we have been waiting for?

(Eagle lights up his candles and runs towards the area where Ascot was imprisoned. Fuu follows, looking strangely at the running Eagle and muttering Lantis.)

Fuu: (sees Ascot) Father! Oh, who has done this to you? I've got to get you out of here!

Ascot: LET ME OUT! We both have to get out of here! AAAAHHHH!

Ferio: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Fuu: Oh my!

Ferio: Fuu—I mean, what are you doing here?

Fuu: Why did you do this to my father? Please let him go!

Ferio: (tries to growl) There is nothing you can do!

Fuu: Oh, correction, sir Beast. I do have something I can do. I will take my father's place.

Ferio: HELL YEAH! Oh, I mean…You would keep yourself here in the place of your own father?

Fuu: Yes.

Ferio: So be it.

Fuu: Come into the light.

Ferio: Um…I don't think you would want to do that.

Fuu: COME INTO THE LIGHT!

Ferio: (steps in, and we see a stupid looking mask on Ferio's face. His body was also covered with brown fur, which looked real sick.)

Fuu: AAAAH!!! What has Aska done to you, Ferio?!

Ferio: I'm the Beast!

Ascot: You look like a Beast alright.

Ferio: Shut up, old man.

Ascot: Speak for yourself! I'm younger than you!

Ferio: Oh yeah?! ROAR!!!

Fuu: (giggles) You roar funny.

Ferio: (grab Ascot and throws him into a contraption) Bring him back to the village.

Fuu: Hey, wait! I didn't bid farewell to my father!

Ferio: Too late.

Eagle: (whispering) Um…master, since she'll be staying here for a while, maybe you could give her a room…

Ferio: (blows all of Eagle's candles out)

Eagle: Then again, maybe not. (mutters) It took me hours to light all of these candles.

Lantis: Told you not to say anything.

Eagle: Is that your only line?

Lantis: I asked Mokona to limit my vocabulary in this movie.

Eagle: C'est dommage!

Lantis: I didn't know you could speak French.

Ferio: (getting angry) Will you two shut up already?!

Eagle and Lantis: Sorry, master.

Ferio: (turning to Fuu) I'll take you to your room.

Fuu: I thought I'm supposed to stay here.

Ferio: Yes, but I want you to be comfortable.

Fuu: Okay! Ferio, you're so nice!

Ferio: I'm supposed to be a terrible BEAST!

(they walk two feet and then stop at a door)

Ferio: This is your room.

Eagle: (pulling Ferio's sleeve) Dinner…invite her to dinner.

Ferio: Oh, and you should eat with me for dinner, please?

Lantis: It's not a request!

Ferio: YES IT IS!

Lantis: FINE!

(Ferio, Lantis, and Eagle run out, leaving Fuu in her room)

Fuu: I can't see my father ever again.

(Umi comes in)

Umi: Cheer up, lady. You want a spot of tea?

Fuu: (looks surprised) Er…not really. The teacup looks a bit scary.

Clef: You have a problem?

Fuu: (backs away) No, not really. (bumps into Hikaru) AAAAHH!!! Oh my! Hikaru?

Hikaru: I'm a wardrobe! Don't worry, Fuu. I'm harmless! See? (opens up the wardrobe and hangers start flying out) Oops…hehe…maybe I'm not that harmless.

Fuu: This is very interesting.

Hikaru: (nods head and starts to get excited) So, what outfit would you like to wear for your dinner? I know! (begins to talk real quickly) Let's put a dead animal on you! Buttercream, buttercream, buttercream, you have the great facial features, and the waist, well, that's simple! How about the green dress?

Fuu: Huh? Oh, I'm not going to dinner.

Hikaru: FUU! YOU MUST GO TO DINNER! YOU HAVE TO BREAK THE SPELL!

Fuu: What spell?

Umi: You weren't supposed to say that, Hikaru.

Clef: (sighs) Ruined.

(The door opens and Lantis comes in.)

Lantis: Ehem…(bows) Your dinner is awaiting…er…ready…er…Your dinner is served.

Clef: That took you a long time.

(Meanwhile, downstairs, Ferio is fumbling with his tuxedo and pacing around, with Umi and Eagle looking at him.)

Ferio: She's taking soooo long!

Umi: Oh, be patient, master.

Eagle: (brightening) Hey, maybe Lantis fell and got lost to mademoiselle's room.

Ferio and Umi: Shut up.

Eagle: Okay, I was only suggesting. (after a silence) Hey, master, you think she could be the……

Ferio: EAGLE! FOR ONCE I WOULD LIKE SILENCE WHERE I DIDN'T HAVE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!!!! (clears throat) I have thought about it. But who could love me? I'M A BEAST!

Umi: (mutters) A cute kind of beast, if you ask me.

Clef and Ascot: (jealous jealous)

Umi: Anyway, you should try to win her heart, though.

Ferio: (look eagerly) How?

Eagle: Oh, pretty easy, since she likes you enough already.

Umi: (sweatdrop) YOU HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!

Ferio: I DON'T HAVE A TEMPER!

Eagle: Ex-nay on the emper-tay…

Umi and Ferio: SHUT UP!

Eagle: (grumbles) Why am I always the one who gets screamed at?

(Lantis comes in, looking nervous)

Eagle: (smiles) Did you get lost again?

Lantis: NO! Er…I mean…yes, I got lost, and I couldn't get to Fuu.

Ferio: (frowns) Stop lying. Where is she?

Lantis: Who?

Umi: Fuu!

Lantis: Oh, the girl? Well, due to the circumstances which er…well, since she's feeling the way she is…Alright! SHE'S NOT COMING!

Clef, Umi, and Eagle: WHAT?!?!

Ferio: Oh man…and I dressed up in a suit…

Umi: Well, go up there and drag her down here!

Eagle: Isn't that a bit too forceful?

(Ferio and everyone else march to Fuu's room and Ferio knocks on the door, a bit too hard.)

Ferio: Hey! What happened to the dinner guest?!

Fuu: I'm sorry, Ferio, but I'm not going!

Umi: Oh yes you are!

Fuu: No!

Umi: Don't make Ferio knock down the door!

Fuu: I won't come out!

Eagle: Why don't you try a bit of the polite touch, Umi?

Ferio: (clears throat) I implore you to join me for dinner.

Fuu: I frankly refuse.

Ferio: You can't stay in there forever.

Fuu: On the contrary, I don't have to. You're going to leave first.

Clef: Ooh…diss! She got you there!

Lantis: Unbelievable. If none of you would talk, we'd all be gone from this place by now.

Ferio: Then stay in there and STARVE! (leaves, with Umi and Clef behind him)

Eagle: Lantis, don't you think that was a bit too harsh?

Lantis: Don't look at me. I'm just the bearer of bad news. Eagle, stay here and guard her. She is not to leave her room at all, even when she's hungry.

Eagle: Are you sure you want me to do it? Knowing myself, I would bring her to the kitchen.

Lantis: DO IT!

Eagle: Okay, okay, sheesh.

Scene 7

(We open the scene to a bar, where Geo and his gang are found.)

Geo: Who does she think she is?! That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Geo!  
Zazu: Well, I wouldn't say that. But, you're darn right!  
Geo: Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.  
Zazu: Ooh…too many big words for today, Geo. You want more beer?  
Geo: No, I don't want beer. I've been drinking beer since this morning for goodness' sakes! This is disgraceful!  
Zazu: Who you? Never! Geo, you don't even like Fuu that much anyway! She's too smart for you!

Geo: WHAT?!?!

(Zazu breaks into song, and everyone in the bar groans.)

Geo: Not another song!

Zazu: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Geo,  
Looking so down in the dumps. (at this point, Zazu sits on Geo's lap and acts like a girl)  
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Geo,  
even when taking your lumps.  
There's no man in town as admired as you,  
You're everyone's favorite guy.  
Everyone's awed and inspired by you,  
and it's not very hard to see why!  
(Geo throws Zazu onto a table, and the table breaks, to everyone's dismay. Zazu continues to sing, which added to the unfortunate event.)  
No one's slick as Geo,  
no one's quick as Geo,  
no one's neck's as incredibly thick as Geo's.

Geo: Hey! Is that insult?

Zazu: For there's no man in town half as manly,  
Perfect, a pure paragon!  
You can ask any Tom, Clef, or Lafarga,

Lafarga: Who the heck is Tom?

Some guy sitting in a chair holding a tankard of ale: You gots'a problem with ma name there? Mister French Man?

Lafarga: Why you…(a brawl starts)

Zazu: (keeps singing) And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on.  
Zazu, Lafarga, Clef, and any other guy who happened to be there:  
No one's been like Geo,

Mokona: PU PU!

Guys: A kingpin like Geo,

Mokona: PU PU!

Geo: Shoot the animal!

Guys: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Geo.  
Mokona: PU PU!

Geo: (sighs and begins to sing) As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!  
Guys: My, what a guy, that Geo!  
Give five "hurrahs!"  
Give twelve "hip hips!"

Clef: (whispers to Lafarga) What the heck are "hip hips?"

Lafarga: I have no clue, but keep singing. This song sounds cool.

Zazu: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips.  
Lafarga and Clef: HEY! WE AREN'T DRIPS!

Zazu: (glares) No one fights like Geo,  
Douses lights like Geo,  
Geo: Zazu's getting a bit into the song, gosh. (smacks a bunch of guys, even Clef)

Clef: In a wrestling match nobody bites like Geo. You're gonna pay for smacking me!  
Caldina, Tatra, and Tarta: (singing in harmony) For there's no one as burly and brawny.  
Geo: Hello ladies! As you see I've got biceps to spare.  
Zazu: Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny,  
Geo: That's right!  
And every last inch of me's covered with hair.  
Caldina, Tatra, and Tarta: EW!!! DISGUSTING!

Zazu: No one hits like Geo,  
Presea: Matches wits like Geo,  
Lafarga: In a spitting match nobody spits like Geo.  
Geo: I'm especially good at expectorating! (takes a bite of leather)  
Ptoooie! Damn! This tastes nasty, foo!  
Clef, Lafarga, and Zazu: Twenty-two points for Geo!  
Geo: Twenty-two?

Mokona: PU PU!

Geo: What did you say?

Clef: Mokona said to KEEP SINGING!

Geo: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs  
every morning to help me get large.  
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs  
so I'm roughly the size of a barge!

(While he sang this, he was juggling a bunch of eggs, and trying to get them in his mouth. Unfortunately, he misses all of them and they all land on his face.)

Zazu: You suck! Let me try! (juggles eggs and gets them all in his mouth)

Lafarga: Er…okay…um…No one shoots like Geo,

(Geo shoots his gun, and ended up killing the man with the tankard of ale)

Zazu: Of course not. He can't shoot anything!

Lafarga: Oh well, we won't miss the guy who just died anyway.

(sings) Makes those beauts like Geo.  
Zazu: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Geo.  
  
Geo: I use Mokona in all of my decorating!  
Presea: CANNIBAL! YOU KILLED MOKONA!

Mokona: PU PU!

Guys: Say it again!  
Mokona: PU PU!

Clef: No, Mokona, not you.

Lafarga: Who's a man among men  
Mokona: PU PU!

Clef: And let's say it once more.  
Lafarga: Who's that hero next door?  
Caldina and Tatra: WHERE?!  
Tarta: (smacks head) I'm surrounded by morons. (to the two girls) THIS IS A SONG YOU DOLTS!

Tatra: (starts to get teary eyed) Tarta, and I'm your older sister.

Guys: Who's a super success? (Mokona starts screaming every sentence the guys keep singing, which aggravated everyone in the bar.)  
Don't you know? (PU PU!)  
Can't you guess? (PU PU!)  
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on. (PU PU!)  
There's just one guy in town, (PU PU!)  
Who's got all of it down! (PU PU!)

Geo: I told you! KILL THE ANIMAL!

Clef: YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF MOKONA!  
Mokona: PU PU!

(A gunshot was heard, and the sounds of Mokona died down.)

Presea: AAH!!! NOW YOU REALLY KILLED MOKONA!

Zazu: No, he didn't. He shot one of the beer bottles. Remember? He can't aim?

Tarta: Get on with the song!

Zazu: And his name's  
G-E-O-...G...  
G-E-O-um....  
G-E-O...  
Oh!

Clef: He can't spell.

Caldina, Tatra, and Tarta: GEO!!!!!!

(Ascot barges in, scaring everyone and making Geo scream like a girl.)

Ascot: Help! Someone help me!  
Lafarga: Maurice?  
Ascot: (looking blank) Who's Maurice?

Clef: It's ASCOT! GET IT RIGHT!

Lafarga: (clears throat) Ascot?

Ascot: Please! Please! I need your help! He's got her, he's got her locked in his castle!

Clef: Who? AND IT'S MY CASTLE!

Ascot: Fuu! We must go! Not a minute to lose!

Geo: Whoa! Slow down, Ascot! Who's got Fuu locked in his castle?

Ascot: Ferio! A horrible, monstrous Beast

Guys: AHAHAHAHAHA!

Ascot: What's so funny?

Lafarga: Is it a big Beast?

Ascot: Huge!  
Clef: (snickers) With a long, ugly snout?  
Ascot: Hideously ugly!

Ferio: HEY! I'M NOT UGLY!

Fuu: Of course not, Ferio. Just get on with the show.

Guy with a tankard of ale: And sharp, cruel fangs?

Lafarga: I thought you were dead!

Mokona: PU PU!

Ascot: AAH!! MOKONA!! I WANT MY PET VIGOR BACK! Will you help me?  
Geo: All right, old man. We'll help you out.  
Ascot: I'M NOT AN OLD MAN! I mean…you will? Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

(Lafarga, Clef, Zazu, and Geo grab a hold of Ascot and throw him outside.)

Caldina: Hey! Don't mistreat poor Ascot like that!

Umi: Yeah! He doesn't deserve it!

Zazu: (looks at Umi) Where did you come from?

Umi: Ooops…wrong scene. (gets out, grumbling to herself)

Lafarga: Crazy old Maurice!  
Clef: ASCOT!

Zazu: He's always good for a laugh.

Geo: Crazy old Maurice….er…I mean Ascot. Hmmmmm…crazy old Ascot. Hmm.  
Lafarga: Will you stop with the "Hmm" already?

Geo: (glares) Zazu, I'm afraid I've been thinking.  
Zazu: A dangerous pastime,  
Geo: I know.

Zazu: WOW!! YOU KNOW EVERYTHING!

Geo: But that wacky old coot is Fuu's father,  
and his sanity's only "so-so".

Fuu: Ascot isn't truly my father, and his sanity is quite fine, thank you very much.

Ascot: Thank you for clearing that up, Fuu.

Geo: (keeps singing) Now the wheels in my head have been turning,  
since I looked at that loony old man.

Ascot: I'M NOT OLD!

Geo: See, I promised myself I'd be married to Fuu,  
and right now I'm evolving a plan!  
Zazu: (rolls eyes) Wow, you actually have a plan?

Geo: Shut up and listen! (whisper whisper whisper) If I .... (whisper) ...

Zazu: Yes! (starts screaming "yes" at the top of his voice)

Tatra: (giggles) He's got the urge to Herbal!  
Zazu and Geo: Let's go!  
No one plots like Geo,  
Takes cheap shots like Geo,  
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Geo.  
Ascot: I'M NOT A CRACKPOT!  
Tarta and Caldina: So his marriage we soon will be celebrating!  
Tatra: My, what a guy! (realizes something) He's getting married? NOOOO!!!

Everyone: GEO!!

~Well, that's about it, so far. I'm trying to hurry as much as possible, so don't scream at me. What did you think? REVIEW!!!!!!


	3. Scenes 8 and 9

Scene 8

(Fuu opens the door and gets out. She is walking to the kitchen. Eagle is flirting with Presea for some reason.)

Eagle: Mais oui…

Presea: Oh no.

Eagle: Oh yes!

Presea: Oh no! I've been bounced by you before!

(Eagle looks disgusted and then turns to the door, which was opened, and he drops Presea as quickly as possible, faking a look of distress.)

Eagle: Zut alors! She has left the building!

(in the kitchen, Lantis and Umi are conversing, along with Lafarga, who was the oven)

Lafarga: Look at this! All this food gone to waste!

Umi: Oh, don't fret over it. It's not as if you cook great anyway.

Lafarga: HEY!

Lantis: …

Umi: Lantis, don't you have anything to say?

Lantis: No.

Lafarga: Yes, you do.

Lantis: Well, it's her fault that the master lost his temper. After all, he did say "please".

Umi: Well, he should have learned to control his temper.

Lantis: What are you talking about? You're the one who lost your temper!

Umi: I lost my temper for him! How else are going to break the sp…

(Fuu walks in, and Lantis interrupts Umi.)

Lantis: SPLENDID TO SEE YOU, MADEMOISELLE!

Fuu: Why are you screaming so loudly, Lantis?

Lafarga: We have no idea.

Fuu: (stares at Lafarga) Not you again.

Lantis: Allow me to introduce…

(Eagle runs in and goes in front of Lantis.)

Lantis: …Eagle Vision of Autozam. (starts to choke his best friend) I told you to stand guard, and this is what happens?

Eagle: (gets out of Lantis' grip and kisses Fuu's hand) En chante, mademoiselle.

Fuu: (blushes) How dashing!

Ferio: HEY! EAGLE!! GET AWAY FROM MY GIRL!

Eagle: Now, what is your wish?

Fuu: Well, I'm hungry.

Umi: Did you hear that? She's hungry! Start the fire, Lafarga! Get the china, Clef!

Clef: I'm going, I'm going.

Lantis: But the master said…

Eagle: Oh, posh! Come on, Lantis. Where's your sense of risk-taking for this beautiful and intelligent woman?

Ferio: Eagle, if you try to flirt with Fuu again, I'll…

Lantis: Alright, crust of bread, some water, and you go back to your room.

Eagle: Nonsense…she should have a feast! And what's a little dinner without music!

Lantis: MUSIC?!?!?! (At this point, Lantis gets smacked by the door and into some kind tray of food, where he stays unconscious.)

Umi: Yes, music, come on, Fuu, let's get you to the dining room.

(Eagle is getting warmed up and then he stands on top of the table.)

Eagle: Ma chere mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner.

(Plates start flying out from nowhere and going to the table.)

Eagle: Be our guest. Be our guest.  
Put our service to the test.  
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie,  
and we provide the rest.

(Eagle shoves a tray in front of Fuu.)  
Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres.  
Why, we only live to serve!  
Try the gray stuff, it's delicious.  
Fuu: Ew…

Eagle: TRY IT!!

Fuu: (reluctantly tries it and looks up) Hey, you're right, it is delicious!

Eagle: (continues to sing) Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!  
They can sing, they can dance.  
After all, miss, this is France.

Fuu: Aren't we in Cephiro?

Eagle: France goes with the song, actually, so it's staying that way.

Fuu: Oh, okay. Continue.

Eagle: And a dinner here is never second best.  
Go on, unfold your menu.  
Take a glance and then you'll be our guest.  
Oui, our guest. Be our guest!  
(Food start coming out, and Eagle burns them with his candles.)

Caldina, Tarta, Tatra, Presea: Beef ragout, cheese souffle.  
Pie and pudding en flambé!  
(Lantis gets up from the pudding, but gets burned, and he jumps out of the food, to Fuu's disgust.)

Fuu: I'm not eating the pudding en flambé.

Eagle: We'll prepare and serve with flair a culinary cabaret!  
You're alone and you're scared,  
but the banquet's all prepared.  
No one's gloomy or complaining,  
while the flatware's entertaining!  
We tell jokes. I do tricks,  
with my fellow candlesticks.

(Eagle starts to juggle, and the candlesticks that he was juggling all end up on Lantis, who was still trying to recover from his burnt experience. Now, as the music is playing, a flaming figure is running around at the back, screaming like a girl.)

Lafarga and Clef: And it's all in perfect taste that you can bet!

Presea, Tarta, Tatra, Caldina: Come on and lift your glass.  
You've won your own free pass,  
to be our guest

Lantis: AAAAAHH!!! PUT THE FIRE OUT!! SOMEONE!!!!

Eagle: Lantis, if you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!

Everyone: Be our guest be our guest be our guest!

(Umi finally had the sense to splash Lantis with some water, and now he's drenched and not burning anymore. But, Eagle has pulled him to the center of the table, and is singing.)

Eagle: Life is so unnerving for a servant who's not serving.  
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon.

Lantis: EAGLE!! LET ME GO!!!

Eagle: Ah, those good old days when we were useful.  
Suddenly those good old days are gone.  
Ten years we've been rusting,  
needing so much more than dusting.  
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skill.

(Eagle lets go and Lantis goes flying into Jell-O, where half his body is engulfed in the green food.)

Fuu: Ew…I'm not eating the Jell-O either.

Eagle: (is oblivious to what is happening and keeps singing)  
Most days we just lay around the castle.  
Flabby, fat and lazy,  
you walked in and oops-a-daisy! (Jumps at a spoon, and pulls Lantis free from the Jell-O, only to be thrown to the doors, where Umi was found, starting to sing her cue.)

Umi: It's a guest! It's a guest!  
Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed!  
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord,  
I've had the napkins freshly pressed.  
With dessert, she'll want tea.  
And, my dear, that's fine with me.  
While the cups do their soft-shoein'  
I'll be bubblin'! I'll be brewin'!  
I'll get warm, piping hot.  
Heavens sake, is that a spot?

AAAAH!!!!

Lantis: What's wrong, Umi?

Umi: I got myself dirty!!!

Lantis: Then have someone clean you off!

Umi: Oh right! (continues)

Clean it up! We want the company impressed.  
We've got a lot to do!

(Rushes to Fuu, and hands her Clef.) Is it one lump or two?

Fuu: FIVE!

Umi: Okay! (smacks Clef five times.)

Clef: HEY!!! IT'S LUMPS OF SUGAR!!! NOT HOW MANY LUMPS ON MY HEAD!!!!!

Umi: Oops…sorry, Clef. (gets a cup of tea and hands it to Fuu, who was smiling evilly at Clef.)

Fuu: Thank you.

Umi: For you, our guest.

Tarta and Tatra: She's our guest!

Umi: She's our guest!

Presea and Caldina: Be our guest!

(As Lantis is trying to quiet everyone down, Lafarga, Caldina, Presea, Clef, Tatra, and Tarta start singing and rushing at him.)

Everyone: Be our guest! Be our guest!  
Our command is your request.

Mokona: PU PU!

Everyone: It's ten years since we've had anybody here,  
and we're obsessed!

Lantis: SHUT UP!!!

Everyone: With your meal, with your ease,  
yes, indeed, we aim to please.  
While the candlelight's still glowing,  
Let us help you, we'll keep going!

Eagle: Course by course, one by one!  
(At this point, a giant cake starts to float from the sky, to Fuu's wonder.)

Fuu: Oh my! That's a rather large cake! I can't all of that!

Eagle and everyone: 'Till you shout, "Enough, I'm done!"  
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest.  
Tonight you'll prop your feet up!  
But for now, let's eat up!  
Be our guest!

Mokona: PU PU!

Everyone: Be our guest!

Lantis: (swings from the ceiling) AAAH!!!

Everyone: Be our guest!

Lafarga: SHOOT THE FLYING MAN!

Everyone: Please be our guest!

(A gunshot was heard, and the cake fell from the sky, on top of Lantis who finally got off the swinging rope.)

Lantis: Alright! Who shot the cake?!

Geo: (from somewhere off the scene) Oops…

Fuu: (shudders) A pity. Now I'm not going to eat the cake.

Lantis: Okay, fine! Go to bed!

Fuu: But I would like to explore an enchanted castle like this.

Lantis: (laughs nervously) Enchanted? Who told you the castle was enchanted? (smacks Eagle and starts to choke him) It was you wasn't it?!

Fuu: I figured that on my own.

Eagle: Ah, Fuu-chan, you're so smart!

Fuu: Well, shall you give me a grand tour of this magnificent place?

Lantis: Why? You already know where everything is.

Eagle: Of course! Let's go, Lantis! Where's your sense of adventure?

Aska: Is this the end of this scene?

Sang Yung: I think so. Nobody's saying anything.

Ferio: Oh, do I have to do everything myself? NEXT!!!!

Scene 9

(Fuu, Eagle, and Lantis are walking around the castle, "ooing and aaing" at the sites for no particular reason. Lantis is talking about the things, but Fuu and Eagle aren't listening.)

Eagle: (whispering to Fuu) Hey, you want to know what that forbidden third floor has in store?

Fuu: Ooh…I'm very curious. What's in there?

Eagle: Why don't you go and check it out?

Lantis: And here are the baroque suits of armor. And up there is also an example of a baroque ceiling….

Eagle: (groans) I can't take this baroque talk of the castle anymore.

Fuu: Let's run! (both run, while Lantis is still talking and laughing to himself.)

Lantis: And if it's not baroque…don't fix it. (Laughs) Ohohohoho….oho? (looks around and sees that Fuu and Eagle are running towards the third floor corridor.) HEY! STOP!!

Eagle: (whistling innocently) Fuu! You shouldn't be going there!

Lantis: (blocks Fuu's way and glares at Eagle) You traitor!

Fuu: What did Eagle-san do?

Lantis: (forces a smile) We have a library downstairs!

Fuu: YOU DO?!?!

Eagle: (nods head vigorously) We have hundreds of books!

Lantis: Thousands of books!

Eagle: Cascades of books!

Lantis: Mountains of books!

Eagle: Even a small manga book on Magic Knight Rayearth!

Fuu: (gets starry eyed) Wow!! We're famous!

Lantis: (pulling Eagle and Fuu away from the corridor) Well, then, let's go!

Fuu: (pulls away and runs to the third floor) Bye! See ya!

(Fuu opens up the scary door with Mokona as a doorknob and sees a room filled with…um…fake looking cobwebs and a ripped picture of Ferio, which was quite obvious, with the green hair and the handsome face.)

Fuu: (gasps) Ferio! Who has ripped up your beautiful portrait? (continues walking around, accidentally knocking a bunch of expensive objects from the tables and chairs.) Oops…um…hehe…(spots a glass and a golden arrow inside it.) That's sooo beautiful! (breaks the glass, by accident, and touches the arrow.)

Ferio: AAH!!! THE GOLDEN ARROW!

Fuu: AAAH!!! FERIO!

Ferio and Fuu in unison: AAAAHH!!!!! YOU AGAIN!

Fuu: Oh my…

Ferio: You almost killed me!

Fuu: Um…how did I manage that?

Ferio: (shrugs) I don't know. Albert Einstein told me that if the arrow wilts, then I die.

Fuu: Oh my! (shoves arrow at Ferio and smiles) Well, thank you for giving me a grand tour of the castle. But, I'm afraid I must leave now.

Ferio: You're welcome. (watches Fuu leave, then finally realizes what that meant) HEY!! WAIT A MINUTE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY IN THE CASTLE!! FUU WAIT!!!

(A roar can be heard from the castle, and Fuu runs outside, with Mokona right behind her. She gets a bit farther away, but is blocked by the Chizetan princesses' Djinn, and Aska's ugly creatures.)

Aska: Ohohohoho!!! You can't escape now, Fuu-san!

Fuu: Oh my! Mokona! Fight them off!

Mokona: PU PU?

Fuu: AAAAHH!!! (running away in chibi-form from the blue Djinn) Help! Somebody help!

Ferio: Fuu's in trouble! Don't worry, Fuu! I'll save you…Whoa! (sees the monsters) I'm getting out of here!

Fuu: FERIO!!!!

Ferio: Alright alright! Sheesh….do I gotta do everything? (takes out his sword and starts slicing and dicing the monsters.)

(…Hours later…)

Ferio: And this is how you slice up a rabbit creature into strips you can hang to dry. After it is dried, you can then add the dressing and stuff the rest of the rabbit creature up. Then you put it in an oven, and bake it!

Fuu: (sighs) This isn't a cooking show, you know.

Ferio: It isn't? Tsk…darn. And I had great cooking skills, too.

Aska: YOU CANNIBAL!! THAT WASN'T A RABBIT CREATURE!!! THAT WAS MOKONA!!!

Fuu: YOU KILLED MOKONA!

Mokona: PU PU!

Ferio: No, Mokona's right here, dressed in a wolf outfit.

Fuu: Oh no! Mokona's injured! We must bring her back to the castle and treat her before she rots and dies!

Mokona: PU…..PU!!!! (starts to panic)

Ferio: Okay okay, let's go!

(Ferio, Fuu, and the "supposedly" injured Mokona walk back to Clef's castle. In the castle, Fuu was treating Mokona and scolding Ferio for no good reason, only because that's what it said in her lines. Eagle, Lantis, Umi, Clef, and Hikaru were there as well. *Don't ask how a cupboard got downstairs, Hikaru's there because she is.*)

Fuu: You know, if you hadn't gone out there, you wouldn't have gotten hurt.

Ferio: I got hurt? Oh, I mean…well, you shouldn't have run away!

Fuu: Well you shouldn't have screamed at me!

Ferio: I DIDN'T SCREAM AT YOU!!!

Fuu: YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!

Hikaru: (whispers to Lantis) Why are they screaming at each other? Aren't they supposed to be in love by now?

Lantis: Not really…

Clef: (snickers) Hehehe…

Umi: What are you laughing at?

Clef: If Ferio dies, then I get my castle back.

Umi: You know, for my son, you sure act like an 8-year-old.

Clef: I'M NOT EIGHT!

Eagle: Shh…..they're talking! (Before Umi, Clef, and Lantis could tell Eagle to shut up.) I know, I know, you want me to shut up….Sheesh.

Fuu: Anyway. (smiling) Thank you for saving my life!

Ferio: You're welcome!

(The area fades, but then music starts to play, and Fuu is walking with Mokona in a snowy weather. Ferio and Fuu are hitting each other with snow. Well, at least, they think it's snow…)

Ferio: ARGH!!! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!?!

Aska: (snickers) I forgot to tell you guys, it's not snow, it's melted marshmallows!

Ferio: YUK!

Fuu: (begins to sing) There's something sweet,  
And almost kind,  
But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined.  
And now he's dear,  
And so I'm sure,  
I wonder why I didn't see it there before.  
Ferio: (clears throat too loudly and he hacks a bit wildly, then regains composure and begins to sing, to everyone's surprise) She glanced this way,  
I thought I saw.  
And when we touched she didn't shudder at my paw.  
No, it can't be,  
I'll just ignore,  
But then she's never looked at me that way before.  
Aska: What a bunch of bull—

Sang Yung: Lady Aska!

Aska: Oh, excuse me!

Fuu: (gasps at Aska cursing) New, and a bit alarming!  
Who'd have ever thought that this could be!  
True, that he's no Prince Charming

Ferio: HEY!! I AM A PRINCE!! AND I AM CHARMING!

Fuu: (glares) But there's something in him that I simply didn't see. (smacks Ferio with a rock.)

Aska: FIGHT! HIT HIM AGAIN!! HIT HIM AGAIN!

Eagle: (sings) Well, who'd have thought! (stops singing) They're killing each other!  
Umi: Well, bless my soul!  
Lantis: Well, who'd have known?  
Umi: Well, who indeed!  
Eagle: And who'd have guessed they'd kill each other on their own?  
Umi: It's so peculiar, wait and see.

Eagle: We'll wait and see  
Umi, Eagle, and Lantis: A few days more.  
There may be nothing left  
That had been there before.  
(Area fades again, and Fuu and Ferio are back inside, where Ferio has a bandage and Fuu is helping him walk to the library.)

Ferio: (mutters) Ouch…

Fuu: I'm so sorry, Ferio, Aska was telling me to hit you again, and I really didn't know that the marshmallow had a rock inside.

Ferio: That's okay. Fuu, I want to show you something. But first, you've got to close your eyes. It's a surprise.

Fuu: (shrugs) Okay, but if I close my eyes, how will I guide you into the room?

Ferio: (takes his bandages off and jumps around) Oh, I'm actually fine! That healing brew Hikaru gave me really worked!

Fuu: (closes eyes) Okay, when do I open them?

Ferio: (opens door and leads Fuu in the room, then opens the windows.) Okay, you can open them now.

Fuu: AAAHH!!! I'M BLIND!!! (sees the books) Oh my! BOOKS!! WONDERFUL!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!

Ferio: (holds up a book) And look! The manga of Magic Knight Rayearth!

Fuu: Oh, cool! Let's read it! (sits by the fire with Ferio looking at her side)

Lantis: Ere, perhaps there's something there  
That wasn't there before.  
Umi: Darn! There may be something there  
That wasn't there before.  
Clef: What the heck are you guys talking about?

Umi: Clef, you're too young to understand.

Clef: HEY!

Ferio: (from inside) SHUT UP AND GO TO THE NEXT SCENE!


	4. Scenes 10 and 11

Scene 10

(Geo and Zazu are in a meeting with Lafarga.)

Lafarga: (raises an eyebrow and starts to sing) So…you wanna be a hero kid, well, whoopee doo. I have been around the block before with blockheads just like you.

Geo: LAFARGA!

Lafarga: WHAT?!?!

Zazu: WRONG MOVIE!!!!

Lafarga: (smacks head) Oopsie daisy. Now, where was I?

Geo: We were talking about Maurice! Er…I mean, Ascot and how loony he was!

Ascot: I'M NOT A LOONY!

Zazu: (opens door and screams out) SHUT UP!!! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION!! (clears throat) Now, we were saying?

Lafarga: Yes, but Ascot isn't at all harmful.

Geo: It's not Ascot, Lafarga. It's Fuu. She'd do anything for her father. I mean anything.

Ascot: Hey, Fuu, can you get me a cup of coffee?

Fuu: Um…I am not obliged to you and therefore will not get your drink.

Geo: Eh…well, almost anything.

Lafarga: …I see…

Geo: So, do we have a deal?

Lafarga: I don't even know what you're talking about…(starts to cackle evilly) but I love it!

Geo and Zazu: (look at each other) Yeesh…freaky.

(Area fades and we go to Ascot, who is packing up in his house.)

Ascot: No one will help me, then I'll go to Ferio's castle myself.

Clef: MY CASTLE!

(Ascot fumbles about looking for different things to bring. He's making a mess at his house.)

Ascot: Let's see…rope, candles, cloth, sticks…marshmallows…

Fuu: Marshmallows?

Ascot: Yeah, what did you think I was doing? I'm going camping!!

Aska: Now the end is truly coming.

Sang Yung: Don't worry, Lady Aska. It's not over yet.

(Ascot leaves and then Geo and Zazu show up.)

Geo: (pounds on door) Open up, Ascot! I say, open up!

Aska: (whispering) Should we tell them that the door is open?

Sang Yung and Aska: (look at each other and grinned) NAH!!!

Zazu: (after waiting many hours) Oh, look, the door's open. I don't think anyone's inside.

Geo: (getting angry and grabs Zazu) Well then, Zazu! (throws him into the snow) You're not moving until Fuu and her father come back.

Zazu: Hey! Ew…what is this stuff?

Sang Yung: (whispers) Should we tell him that it's not snow but melted marshmallows?

Aska: Let him find out for himself!

Scene 11

(Eagle, Lantis, and Ferio are in a room, where Lafarga is the hair dresser.)

Ferio: Ouch! What are you doing, Lafarga?! Stop making braids on my hair!

Eagle: Take it easy, Ferio. You actually look okay.

Lantis: Lies….all lies…

Eagle: Shh…you're not supposed to say that!

Ferio: I do look terrible, don't I?

Lafarga: Do not worry, master. For I, LAFARGA, will make you the belle of the ball!

Ferio: I AM A MAN! NOT A WOMAN!!

Lafarga: Oops…I came in the wrong dressing room then.

Ferio: ARGH!!!

Lantis: Oh, give me that comb. (grabs comb from Lafarga and starts to make Ferio's hair look decent. To everyone's surprise, after Lantis was done, he actually did make Ferio look much better.)

Eagle: Nice work, Lantis! You're a pro!

Lafarga: (getting angry) HEY! THAT WAS MY JOB!!

Umi: (interrupts) FERIO!! FUU'S WAITING DOWNSTAIRS FOR YOU TO SHOW UP FOR DINNER!

Ferio: I'm late! I'm late for a very important date!

(Ferio runs out, not even bothering to put on his tuxedo.)

Umi: (shakes head) Should we drag him back here so he could actually get dressed properly? I don't think Fuu would approve of Ferio in his underwear.

(Ferio runs back in, horrified.)

Ferio: Where's my tux?

Lafarga: (points) You better hurry, master.

(For the last time, Ferio runs out, tripping and falling on his way. Fuu appears, with a green gown, and her hair with a ribbon. Her glasses were put away, and she came down the stairs as gracefully as an angel.)

Ferio: (with mouth hanging wide open) DAMN! SHE'S HOT! Er…Fuu! You're…WOW!

Fuu: (smiles) Why, thank you, Ferio. Hikaru suggested the dress, actually.

Lantis and Eagle: (looking in and also had their mouths wide open) WOW!!! HELLO FUU!

Hikaru: LANTIS!! (smacks Lantis and drags him out.)

Eagle: Heh…that's what he gets for not being single.

Hikaru: YOU TOO, EAGLE! (also smacks Eagle and drags him out of the scene)

(The two sit down on the dining table, as Lafarga gives them soup Ferio picks up his spoon and starts to pig out, while Fuu looks at him in amazement.)

Fuu: Um…Ferio, will you please be a bit more graceful?

Ferio: (with a mouthful of food) What? Oh, oh, shorry…(slows down, and eats like a gentleman.)

Fuu: That's better.

Lafarga: (barges in and shoves a violin in front of Fuu, playing horribly)

Fuu: AHH!!

Lafarga: What? Did I do something wrong? Isn't my violin playing good?

Ferio: Actually, it's the most horrible thing I've ever heard…

Fuu: (shoots Ferio a glare and forces a smile) Eh…Lafarga, let's just say that people who've never heard of the violin will appreciate it.

Lafarga: THANX! (continues to play horribly)

Ferio: (mutters, while holding his ears shut) Nice job, Fuu. Now we're going to have to listen to him play for the next hour.

(Umi comes in dressed in a formal attire, and she's holding a microphone, ready to sing the couple a song.)

Fuu: (starts to clap) Umi-chan! You're going to sing! This is wonderful!

Ferio: Thank goodness. Saved by Umi.

(Lafarga leaves, still playing the violin, until he leaves the room, when someone hit him with his own violin. Ascot and Clef are snickering in the background, pulling Lafarga away from the stage.)

Umi: (sweatdrop) Tale as old as time,  
True as it can be.  
Barely even friends,  
Then somebody bends  
Unexpectedly.

(This time, when violin music does play, it's played really well. Fuu and Ferio look around, trying to figure out who was playing the violin, when they find out it's Sang Yung, who was struggling to keep from falling off the balcony where he was playing.)

Aska: (sniffs) Sang Yung, it's beautiful!  
Ascot: Yeah, yeah, shut up. Umi's singing.

Clef: YEAH!! UMI'S SINGING!

Umi: (clears throat) Just a little change,  
Small, to say the least.  
Both a little scared,  
Neither one prepared,  
Genius and the Beast  
Ferio: Hey, Fuu, you wanna dance?

Fuu: Sure…but…um…where's your ballroom?

Clef: IT'S MY CASTLE!

Ferio and Fuu: WE KNOW!!

Umi: I'M SINGING!!!!!! (at the top of her voice without getting out of tune)  
Ever just the same.  
Ever a surprise.  
Ever as before,  
Ever just as sure  
As the sun will rise.  
(Ferio and Fuu starts to waltz around, when Lantis and Eagle come back in.)

Lantis: Hey, does Ferio know how to dance?

Ferio: (sweatdrop and falls to the floor) Er…I forgot, Fuu. I don't know how to dance.

Fuu: (looking concerned) Oh, but we have to dance. That's the big part in the movie.

Ferio: What movie?

Fuu: Why, Beauty and the Beast. The girl Belle dances with the beast at this time, while the teapot sings. So, I have to dance, too.

Eagle: I'll take your place, Ferio! Just this once!

Ferio: NO!! NO! NO! NO!

Eagle: It was only a suggestion…

Ferio and Lantis: NO!

Eagle: What have you got against it, Lantis?

Lantis: You can't dance either, Eagle.

Eagle: Yes, I can.

Lantis: No, you can't.

Eagle: You haven't seen me.

Lantis: Everyone in Autozam says you can't dance.

Geo and Zazu: Eagle sucks at dancing!

Lantis: See?

Umi: (stomps foot impatiently) Are you guys done? Can I sing now?

Fuu: Yeah, Umi. Come on, Ferio, I'll teach you how to dance.

Umi: That's better. (continues to sing)  
Tale as old as time  
Tune as old as song.  
Bittersweet and strange,  
Finding you can change,  
Learning you were wrong.  
Aska: Hey, what happened to Sang Yung?

(Everyone looks towards the balcony, as they find out that the violin wasn't playing anymore. Sang Yung was found hanging for his life at the balcony, since he was about to fall.)

Sang Yung: Aska-sama!!!! SAVE ME!!

Fuu: Winds of Admonishment! (brings Sang Yung to the ground, with the violin as well.)

Sang Yung: (bows) Thank you. Now I can go on playing. (plays the violin again)

Umi: Well…that's more like it.  
Certain as the sun  
Rising in the East.  
Tale as old as time,  
Song as old as rhyme.  
Genius and the Beast.  
Eagle: I still say…

Umi: NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS!!  
Tale as old as time,

Eagle: But, I…

Clef: YOU HEARD UMI!!! SHUT UP!

Umi: Song as old as rhyme,  
Lantis: Don't say anything.

Ascot: SHUT UP!

Umi: I QUIT! (walks out, with everyone staring at her)

Eagle: (looks at Lantis, shaking his head) Tsk…tsk…

Lantis: What did I do?

Lafarga: (finally back into consciousness, finishes the song up in an awful female pitched sing-song voice)

Genius and the Beast.  
Ferio: What the hell was that?!

Aska: Don't worry, it's only Lafarga.

Clef and Ascot: Hey! How'd you get out? We tied you up!

Lafarga: Oh, so it was you who tied me up?! (starts a brawl) DIE!!

(Fuu and Ferio go into a secluded area, where Fuu sits down by the light of the moon)

Ferio: Hehehe…

Fuu: Ferio, get serious, you pervert. I'm here to discuss a proposition.

Ferio: Huh?

Fuu: Well, it seems that you have me locked up in this castle, don't you?

Ferio: Well, yeah…

Fuu: And I can't get out, right?

Ferio: No…

Fuu: But you love me, do you not?

Ferio: Of course…(raises an eyebrow) Fuu, what is this all about?

Fuu: (smiles) Well, if you love me, then you will let me see my father again.

Ferio: But he isn't even your real father, and he's loony! And old! And he's a bit obsessive with his animals!

Ascot: HEY!

Fuu: FERIO!! I WANT OUT NOW!

Ferio: FINE! (shoves a mirror in front of her) TAKE THE MIRROR!!! YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT!

Fuu: DON'T SCREAM AT ME!

Sang Yung: And the mush stops…

Aska: (sighs) Aw…and I was kind of enjoying it, too.

Clef: What are you talking about? They didn't even say anything to each other except yell every word out.

(Fuu leaves the castle, and Ferio is looking gloomy. Lantis comes in, eating a sandwich.)

Lantis: Hey, master. Well, I've got to hand it to you, you've got the girl now. In no time, we're going to break the spell.

Ferio: She left. She forced me to let her go.

Lantis: WHAT?!?! (spits his sandwich out, and throwing the remains of his sandwich out the castle)

Ascot: HEY!!! NO LITTERING!!!

Hikaru: Ow…some cheese just hit me in the head.

Umi: (sweatdrop) The sandwich must have been stale, to contain hard cheese like that.

Eagle: Ew…Lantis, what are you eating?

Umi: Hey, where's Clef?

Eagle: Clef? Gee, I don't know.

Lafarga: (chuckles) He…he…he…this place ain't his castle any more.

Umi: (wide-eyed) Lafarga, what have you done to Clef?

Lafarga: Oh, nothing. He just took a dive into a particular person's bag, and well, is transported out of here.

Ascot: Well, good riddance.

Hikaru: Hey, Ascot, aren't you supposed to be in another scene?

Ascot: Oh right! Bye!

Umi: NO!! MY BABY!!! HE'S GONE!!

Ferio: (explodes) COOL IT, WOMAN! HE'S NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD!! CAN'T YOU SEE?!?! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! FUU IS GONE!!! THE GOLDEN ARROW IS GOING TO WILT AND WE'LL ALL D-I-E!!

Eagle: I'm surprised, Ferio. You can spell.

Ferio: ARGH!! NEXT SCENE! 


	5. Scenes 12 and 13

~YEAH!! Next two scenes finally written! Weehuu!! This calls for a celebration! Really! Hope you liked this chapter too! ^__^

Scene 12

(Fuu finally finds Ascot near a river, roasting marshmallows with Mokona, who was speaking in its usual one-syllable conversation.)

Ascot: Yeah, I know, Mokona. Don't worry, I won't eat you. I've gotten enough marshmallows to roast and eat. I'm getting full.

Mokona: PU PU PU!

Fuu: Father! Er…what are you doing here? Roasting in the snow!

Ascot: That's not snow, that's melted marshmallow. Hey! That rhymes! Cool!

Fuu: (sweatdrop) Hey, were you the one doing all this melting thing?

Ascot: Aska said that we ran out of snow, so the marshmallows were my idea. Don't they taste great?

Fuu: Ew…

Mokona: PU PU PU!

Fuu: Come on, father, we have to get home soon; our next line is at home, when Geo starts to sing horribly again.

Geo: HEY! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT!

Fuu: Say what? The plot or the fact that you sing terribly?

Geo: BOTH!

Zazu: GEO, GET OUT OF THE SCENE!

Geo: NO! FORGET THE HOUSE!! I'M TAKING THEM DOWN NOW!

Zazu: Oi, vayez, me.

Fuu and Ascot: Huh?

Geo: (approaches them) Now, listen, Fuu, ew…..what the heck? This isn't snow!

Zazu: That's what I've been trying to tell you, Geo. There are too many marshmallows surrounding them. They're greatly defended!

Geo: Argh! (says in a witchy voice) I'll get you, my pretty! And your little father, too!

Fuu: (gasp) You're going to hurt Toto!

Ascot: Who's Toto?

Fuu: Toto! My dog! Wait a minute, wrong movie.

Zazu: (mutters) You've got that right.

Geo: Come on, Zazu, this is not worth it. What am I supposed to do with a stupid woman and her loony father?

Fuu and Ascot: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

Zazu: That's right! He called you two stupid and useless!

Ascot: What are you talking about?! How dare you insult my daughter! How dare you insult me! How dare you insult my family!

Geo: I didn't say anything about your family.

Eagle: (to the people backstage) And the fighting starts…

Ascot: What what what? You wanna fight?

Geo: Yeah! Your house! 5 o'clock, sharp. Pick your second!

Zazu: What's that?

Fuu: It's the right hand person, in case you die, and that person takes over.

Ascot: Well, in that case, I pick Fuu.

Fuu: What?

Geo: I pick Zazu!

Zazu: I'm gonna die….

Fuu: Wait a minute, we didn't pick any weapons yet! In an RPG duel, the challenged picks the weapon. But, in this case, I'm the main character, so I pick bows and arrows!

Geo: That's not fair! You picked that because you're good at bows and arrows! Now Zazu's surely gonna die!

Ferio: (comes in) That's it, for one thing, you're getting out of character, and the other thing, you are supposed to be at Fuu's house trying to persuade her to marry you.

Geo: Yeah, but what if I don't want to marry Fuu?

Ferio: GEO!

(Geo, Zazu, Fuu and Ascot jump and leave the area.)

Mokona: PU PU PU!

(area opens up in Fuu's cottage with Lafarga listening to his walkman)

Lafarga: Whenever, wherever, we're meant to be together, I'll be there and you'll be near and that's the deal my dear…(does the leg thing) 

Ascot: What the heck is all that awful noise? I'm talking in here with my daughter and a hassled teacup! 

Clef: I'M NOT A TEACUP! 

Lafarga: We're on? Oh sh…(puts walkman away and acts like an evil gentleman) Well, M…uh, Ascot. I'm here to take you for a ride. 

Ascot: So we can commit suicide? Uh…What are you talking about? And where are Geo and Zazu? Aren't they supposed to be with you? 

Mokona: PU PU PU! 

(Geo and Zazu run in, panting) 

Clef: LAFARGA!!! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY I AM OUT OF MY CASTLE!!

Lafarga: Clef? Is that you? (gasps) How'd you get there?

Geo: Fuu!! Come on out!

Ascot: Why Fuu?

Lafarga: Parce que…

Zazu: Oh now you decide to speak French? Sheesh, please, Lafarga, in plain old English!

Lafarga: Urgh…Because I am here to take you, Ascot, to the asylum so the people there can do tests on you.

Ascot: I'm not loony!

Zazu: Says who?

Geo: Zazu!

Zazu: Why'd you say that for?

Geo: 'Cause it rhymed with what you said.

Fuu: (finally comes out) Huh? What is going on here? I'm trying to read a book here.

Ascot: What book is it this time?

Fuu: (starry eyed) Oh, the fourth manga book of Magic Knight Rayearth, of course! I'm up to the part where I'm talking to Ferio! Aww….sweet! Let me finish this chapter, and then we can go on.

Clef: (looking interested) Hey, is that me? And is that Umi?

Lafarga: Hey!! Am I smiling?

Ascot: YOU GUYS?!?! HELLO!!! THIS IS A MOVIE WE'RE GOING THROUGH! WILL YOU GET BACK TO YOUR LINES?

Man with tankard of ale: Hey, Ascot, is the beast still in his castle?

Clef: IT'S MY CASTLE!

Ascot: Yes! The one with the long fangs and who is hideously ugly!

Ferio: HEY!

Fuu: Ferio, one more word out of you, and this relationship is over!

Ferio: …(stays silent)

Fuu: (smiles) That's better. Now, where was I?

Geo: Come on, Fuu, marry me and your loony father won't be banished from Cephiro forever!

Lafarga: MWAHAHAHAHA!

Ferio: Why you…(is being restrained by Sang Yung and Aska from the back) Let me at him! Geo won't marry my girl!

Fuu: (looking alarmed) Oh dear, but the beast is real! He's right there!

Geo: Huh? (turns towards Ferio) AAAH!!! IT'S THE BEAST!

Clef: Ferio! GET BACK TO MY CASTLE!!

Ferio: Oh, right. Bye, teacup.

Clef: Why did I even bother?

Zazu: Hey, that's funky, Geo, you're a great fighter? I don't remember saying that…

Geo: Give me that…(grabs book and narrows eyes) Hey, they make it look like Eagle is the head of the NSX. Why those people…

Man with tankard of ale: Oh, give it up, already. You know Eagle's the coolest!

A bunch of female admirers (as well as myself): (swoons) EAGLE VISION IS THE BEST!

Eagle: Merci, at least there are people who like me.

Geo: ARGH!! THAT DOESN'T MATTER!! IT'S THE BEAST WE'RE AFTER!

Crowd: YEAH!

Ferio: CUT!!

Geo: What?! This is the part when we sing the Mob Song!

Ferio: (shrugs) Mokona said that should be in the next scene. You took too much time on this one.

Geo: ARGH!! Fine!

Mokona: PU PU PU!

Scene 13

(scene opens up and the same people are outside of Fuu's house)

Geo: (grumbles) Are we on, yet?

Zazu: Hey, the camera is pointing right at us, Geo. Does that mean we're on?

Lafarga: YEAH!

Geo: The Beast will make off with your children! (makes a scary face, which made Aska cry, since she is playing a child of a villager) Er…I'm sorry, Aska….no, don't cry…(Crowd gasps.) Ehe…Ahem…He'll come after them in the night!

Fuu: No, he won't!  
  
Geo: We're not safe til his head is mounted on my wall! Well, my new castle!  
  
Clef: IT'S MY CASTLE!

Geo: I say we kill Clef!  
  
Ascot: No!! Kill the Beast!

Geo: That's right! Listen to the loony old man! Kill the beast!

Crowd: Kill the Beast!  
  
Fuu: Why is everyone so crazed on killing Ferio?

Lafarga: (seething) Because he thinks he's head of this show…doesn't he? He tells us this…and then that…well, I'm fed up with it!

Zazu: YEAH!

Geo: Nobody tells Geo Metro what to do!

Fuu: Uh-oh…  
  
Lafarga: We're not safe until he's dead!  
  
Clef: (chuckling evilly) He'll come stalking us at night!  
  
Presea: Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!  
  
Zazu: He'll wreak havoc on our village,  
if we let him wander free!  
  
Geo: (clears throat and sings)  
So it's time to take some action, guys!  
It's time to follow me!  
(grabs a torch from out of nowhere and holds it up)  
Through the mist, through the woods  
Through the darkness and the shadows  
It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride!  
(grabs Zazu and starts heading to the woods, with everyone following him)  
Say a prayer, then we're there  
At the drawbridge of a castle  
And there's something truly terrible inside:

Mokona: PU PU PU!

Geo: NOT YOU, MOKONA!

Mokona: (leaves, sadly, and grabs Geo's torch, leaving darkness)

Aska: Mommy, I'm scared of the dark…

Zazu: Oh, shut up, you hag.

Aska: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?! Sang Yung!

Sang Yung: Yes, Lady Aska!

Aska: KILL ZAZU!

Sang Yung: Er…are you sure you want to do that, Lady Aska?

Ascot: No, she doesn't. Just get on with the song, Geo.

Geo: But I don't have a torch. I can't see!

Hikaru: (appears and sighs) Honouo Ya! (fire appears and light is seen, so everyone could go on)

Geo: (continues) It's a beast!--He's got fangs, razor sharp ones!  
  
Ferio: Grr….

Geo: Massive paws, killer claws for the feast!  
Hear him roar! See him foam!  
But we're not coming home,  
'Til he's dead!!!  
Good and dead!  
Kill FERIO!!

Fuu: (alarmed) No! I won't let you do this!

Geo: If you're not with us, you're against us! Bring the old man!  
(Lafarga and the man called Tom drags Ascot over)

Ascot: Get your hands off me! (starts to struggle)

Geo: We can't have them running off to warn the creature!  
  
Fuu: (muffled) Let us out! Ferio isn't a creature! Hey, and what about Clef?

Geo: (looks at Clef, who was backing away, nervously) Yeah, what about the teacup?

Clef: Uh…All hail Geo!

Geo: (shrugs) We'll rid the village of this Beast! Who's with me?!?  
  
Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina: I definitely am!

Crowd: Light your torch!  
Mount your horse!  
  
Geo: Screw your courage to the sticking place! What? What do these words mean anyway?

Lafarga: KEEP SINGING!  
  
Zazu: We're counting on Geo to lead the way!  
  
Caldina: (getting nervous) Through a mist, through a wood,  
  
Tatra: (shivering and grabbing her sister) Where within a haunted castle,  
  
Tarta: (getting choked) …Tatra…Something's…lurking that you…don't see every…DAY!  
  
Lafarga: It's a beast! One as tall as a mountain,  
  
Ferio: Actually, I'm only about 5 feet 7 inches tall, if you wanted to know.

Geo: We won't rest 'til he's good and deceased!  
Sally forth! Tally ho!  
Grab your sword! Grab your bow!  
  
Ferio: Now this is really getting serious…

Lafarga: Praise the Lord and here we go!  
  
Geo: We'll lay siege to the castle and bring back his head! (tries to imitate him holding a head, but is a bad mime, so just shrugs and goes on)

(Meanwhile, in the house, where Fuu, Ascot, and Clef were in, Fuu is contemplating with herself)

Fuu: I have to warn Ferio! This is all my fault! Oh, Papa, what are we going to do?

Ascot: Who cares? I mean…now, now, we'll think of something...  
  
Crowd: We don't like what we don't understand  
in fact, it scares us  
And this monster is mysterious at least!  
  
Lantis: Figures. These people don't like anything strange. So, if someone like Alcyone would show up, then they'd want to kill her too.

Eagle: Eh…Lantis, Alcyone is already dead.

Lantis: And how about you? Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Eagle: … (tries to find a good answer, but couldn't) Well…aren't we in the wrong scene?

Lantis: Wait a minute! We have to get back to the castle!

Lafarga: Bring your guns! Bring your knives!  
Save your children and your wives!  
We'll save our village and our lives!  
We'll kill Ferio!  
(in the castle, Eagle and Lantis come in, panting)

Lantis: I knew it. I knew it was foolish to get our hopes up. But what did you do, Eagle? Bring everyone's hopes up!

Eagle: Hey! It wasn't my fault! Maybe it would have been better if she'd never come at all! (sees the angry mob) Could it be?

Umi: (raising an eyebrow) Is it she?  
  
Eagle: Sacre bleu! Invaders!  
  
Lantis: Encroachers!

Eagle and Umi: What's that?

Lantis: …Never mind…

Umi: (gasps) And they have the mirror!  
  
Lantis: Warn the master! If it's a fight they want, we'll be ready for them!! AHAHAHA!! They don't call me the Master Mage Swordsman for nothing! Who's with me?!  
  
(everyone has left, and Lantis was the only one in the room, and he falls to the floor, and the scene unfortunately goes back to Geo and the rest of the people)

Geo: Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, Ferio is MINE!

Ferio: That's not fair! I can't fight Geo!

The people in the castle: Lights ablaze, banners high,  
We go marching into battle,  
unafraid, although the danger just increased.  
  
People outside: Raise the flag! Sing the song!  
Here we come, we're fifty strong  
And fifty Frenchmen can't be wrong!  
Let's kill the Beast!  
  
Umi: (opens the door to Ferio's room) Pardon me, master...  
  
Ferio: Leave me in peace. Can't you see I'm thinking on how to get rid of those invaders down there?!

Umi: But, sir!--The castle is under attack! Hey, you know already?  
  
Crowd outside: Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!  
  
Ferio: Gee, it's hard not to know when you could hear them outside screaming like that.  
  
Umi: WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP OUT THERE! I'M TALKING TO MY MASTER UP HERE!

Eagle: (trying to hold the door down, with the help of Lantis, Presea and Hikaru) This isn't working!  
  
Presea: But, Eagle, we must do something!  
  
Eagle: Wait, I know!  
  
Lantis: (annoyed) What?

Hikaru: Give Eagle a chance!

Lantis: Come on!

Mob outside: Kill the Beast!  
Kill the Beast!  
  
Umi: What shall we do, Master?  
  
Ferio: It doesn't matter, now. Just let them come. What am I saying? They're trying to take my life for goodness's sakes! Defend with your most powerful magic, Umi! Use Selece!

Umi: Ehe…we were told not to do that, Ferio.

Ferio: I'm gonna die…  
  
Really angry mob: (knocking the door down) KILL FERIO!  
KILL FERIO!  
KILL FERIO!

Eagle: And again, the fighting starts…

(door is burst open, and the place turns black) 


	6. Scenes 14 and 15

~Well, here are another two scenes. I'm almost done...I think one more chapter, and that's it! Hehe...thanx for all your support, and I hope you will like this story to the end!

Scene 14

(silence in the halls, as the angry mob come in, cautisouly)

Lafarga: (confused) Hey, I'm the cook in this castle, aren't I? Does that make me on this side or on the other side? (finds Eagle, standing still) Psst…hey, Eagle, you may not know it, but I'm on your side…I'm the spy!

Eagle: (rolls eyes)

Lafarga: (sneaks up behind Tom) Hey, Tom, you may not know it, but I'm on your side…I'm the spy!

Man with the tankard of ale: Lafarga, will you shut up! We're supposed to be sneaking inside the castle! (grabs Eagle for light, and Eagle burns his hand) D'argh! Who the hell did that?!

Lantis: CHARGE!

(everyone from the castle starts to attack, with Lantis and Hikaru leading)

Hikaru: Yaaah!! Take that! Have some more! (throws hangers everywhere, poking someone's eye)

Tom: MY EYE!! YOU POKED MY EYE!!

Umi: (attacks Lafarga) I don't care if you're a spy! WHERE'S MY SON?!?!?! WHERE IS CLEF?!?!

Lafarga: Stop! I'm the spy! You can't attack me!

Zazu: Er…he…he…I can see that you're all busy…um…fighting each other. Maybe I should just…keep watch outside. Yeah, that's it!

Tarta and Tatra: Nobody messes with the Chizetan princesses! (their themes song starts playing as they dance, then take their swords out) Die!

Presea: AAAH!! What the—! You can't use swords! That would be unfair!

(in the distance, Tom has got Eagle in the corner)

Tom: Oh, Eagle, would you like some more tea? Or how about any more cookies? Milk? Cigars?

Eagle: Er…no (getting nervous) Um…can I please pass?

Tom: NO!! YOU'RE STAYING HERE!! WE ARE GOING TO KEEP TALKING!!

Lantis: (appears in a pirate suit, cackling evilly) AHAHAHA!! (sees Eagle and charges) Lightning Call! (Tom gets burned)

Eagle: Finally! Someone's got guts to actually kill the guy! (looks at Lantis) Thank you thank you! I could kiss you!

Lantis: Get away from me!

Eagle: What makes you think I would? (looks disgusted, and sees that Presea is in trouble with Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina, who were taking advantage of the Master Smith) Oh, look, she's in trouble. That's too bad.

Lantis: You're supposed to save her!

Eagle: (sighs) Fine. (runs out for a few seconds)

Lantis: Eagle? Eagle! You're supposed to save Presea! And look! Mokona's in trouble too!

Mokona: (getting scared) PU PU PU!

Sang Yung: Hey, how did Mokona get here? Wasn't Mokona with Ascot and Fuu?

Aska: FIGHT FIGHT!! HIT HER AGAIN! HIT HER AGAIN!

Tatra: (giggling) Lady Aska, I've never seen you so enthusiastic before…

Caldina: You airheads! Come on! Get Presea!

Presea: Not fair! It's three to one, and I don't even have a weapon! (grumbles) So much for Eagle saving me…

(the FTO appears, and Eagle is inside)

Eagle: (saying his most memorable lines) FTO…GO! (the FTO starts firing lasers out at Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina, and so they run out, afraid of Eagle)

Presea: What took you so long?!

Eagle: Hey, if I had to save someone, I had to do it in style.

A group of admirers (including myself): (swoons) Aw….that was sooooo sweet!

Eagle: Merci, mademoiselles.

Lantis: EAGLE!! If you had the FTO all this time, go and chase the outsiders away already!

Eagle: No problem, Lantis!

Zazu: Hey! It's my beloved FTO! Don't you dare use it against me! NOO!!! (runs out, with everyone from the mob also run out)

Hikaru: Yay!! We did it!

Umi: (still beating on Lafarga) I WANT CLEF HERE RIGHT NOW!!

Presea: (sweatdrop) Eh…Umi, I think it's best to let Lafarga go now. You've already beaten him up to a pulp.

Lafarga: I'm a spy…I'm a spy…

(from outside, Fuu, Ascot, and Clef come inside)

Fuu: Where's Geo?

Ascot: Where's Lafarga?

Umi: Clef!

Clef: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CASTLE?!

Hikaru: It's gonna be okay, Clef, really…

Clef: (seething) YOU IDIOTS!! YOU RUINED IT!

Aska: Okay, Sang Yung, I think it's time to back away from this scene before we get hurt as well…

Lantis: Hey, we didn't see Geo. Where is he?

Lafarga: (crawls to Clef) Help me…Umi's really damaged me…

Clef: You deserve it, you punk!

Umi: (joyfully) Yay! My son's back home!

Ascot: Hurry up, Fuu! Find Ferio before he gets killed!

Fuu: Oh my! (hurries to the topmost floor)

Umi: Oops…I forgot about Ferio.

Eagle: Yeah, wasn't he thinking of a way not to get killed?

Umi: I don't know, he was pretty depressed.

Lantis: …

Hikaru: Come on! Let's watch the fight!

Presea: Yeah! We'll have front row seats if we get up there right now!

Everyone: Let's go!

Scene 15

(Geo is looking around)

Geo: (admiring the ceiling) Hey, it's baroque! (keeps walking, then scratches head) Um…Hey, Aska! What direction was I supposed to go to?

Aska: The topmost floor, you dolt!

Geo: Oh, okay, thanks. (runs to the topmost floor, and sees Ferio, playing cards) Ferio, what the heck are you doing?! Aren't you even nervous?

Ferio: Oh, hi, Geo, want to play a game of Go-Fish?

Geo: Sure!

(the two play a game of cards, with Geo losing)

Geo: Damn! How come you keep winning?

Ferio: Hehe…

Fuu: Geo! Don't kill Ferio! (comes inside the room, and falls to the floor) What…are you two doing?

Ferio and Geo: Playing Go-Fish! Hey, Fuu! You want to play?

Fuu: O…okay…

(Fuu sits for a game of cards, and everyone gets upstairs)

Hikaru: This…is a fight?

Lantis: Well, all their faces are scrunched up in concentration…

Mokona: (nods in agreement) PU PU PU!

Eagle: Hey, the fighting ends…

Umi: Oh no, you don't! Geo! Ferio! YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT RIGHT NOW! WE DIDN'T COME UP HERE FOR NOTHING!

Ferio: Oh geeze, this is what I was hoping against…

Geo: Wait, until I win…

Fuu: (sees the golden arrow) That's a really nice arrow, Ferio, can I have it?

Ferio: Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

(Suddenly, Albert Einstein appears)

Einstein: What are you people doing?!

Fuu: (gasps with joy) Albert Einstein! My mentor! Can I have your autograph?

Ferio: AAHH!! YOU AGAIN! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!

Einstein: Ferio, you are supposed to see that true wisdom lies within. Do you see it now?

Ferio: Well, one of the most scientific geniuses is standing right in front of me. What am I supposed to say to that?

Fuu: Oh, Albert Einstein! Hey, would you like to read this manga book of Magic Knight Rayearth? It's really good.

Einstein: Why not? (Fuu and Einstein leave the room)

Geo: Let's KILL FERIO!

Aska: YEAH!

Ferio: AAH!! FUU!!

Mokona: PU PU PU!

(Ferio runs downstairs, with everybody following him, and they all end up in the library. Fuu is showing her mentor some of the books that she loved in the library.)

Clef: HEY!! DON'T TOUCH MY BOOKS! Who the heck told you to touch them anyway?

Ferio: Eh…I kind of gave her the whole library, because that was what the script said.

Umi: Now, now, Clef, please calm down…

Clef: ARGH!! (blasts Einstein)

Fuu: NO!! ALBIE! YOU KILLED HIM!

Ferio: Hurray! Look! The golden arrow has disappeared! The spell is broken! I'm human again! (rips out the ugly costume, and comes out shining and dazzling) Yeah, I feel sooo much better!

Fuu: (gets starry-eyed) Oh, Ferio! You're back to normal again! I'm so glad!

Eagle: We're cured! We're human again!

Lantis: (sighs) Finally! (takes off his clock costume and comes back to his black armor) I'm free I'm free!

(everyone starts to rip off their costumes and coming back to their pretty and beautiful selves)

Geo: Hey! Where's the beast?

Ferio: He's gone, thank goodness!

Aska: And for all that effort I had putting all those costumes together…

Sang Yung: It's okay, Lady Aska…you did pretty well…

Ascot: So, I'm off being loony now?

Clef: AAAAH!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CASTLE NOW?!?! IT'S ALL….PINK!

Aska: I forgot to mention that when everyone is back to normal, the castle doesn't…hehe…

Clef: ASKA!!!!

Lantis: …I'm getting out of here.

Ferio: Wait! We're supposed to have a last dance and a party here!

Tatra and Caldina: A party? And we're not invited?

Tarta: Of course we are! Come on! Let's crash it!

Zazu: Hey, Geo! Where's Tom?

Lantis: Oh, I blew him up with my Lightning Call.

Geo: What? Party? WHERE?

Ferio: Start the music! Come on, Fuu! Let's dance!

~Sorry to cut off here, but the last part I will have later. Hehe...remember to review!


	7. Final Scenes

Scene 16

(A waltz was playing in the ballroom, and Fuu and Ferio are dancing, while people were watching them. Clef decides to be evil and makes Ascot carry him)

Clef: Look, Mister Ascot! Look at the lights glow!

Ascot: Eh…Clef, are you okay? You're getting worse than when you were a teacup…

Umi: Oh, don't be silly, Ascot. He's just playing with you!

Ascot: He's scaring me…

Clef: Well, my castle is all pink, how am I supposed to feel about that?!

(In the distance, Eagle and Lantis are talking)

Lantis: So, it all turned out very well. Thanks to me, of course.

Eagle: (frowns) You? You were the one who kept saying not to say anything!

Lantis: I saved your life!

Eagle: No, you didn't! You killed Tom!

Lantis: Who cares?! He doesn't even belong in Magic Knight Rayearth!

(Eagle and Lantis start choking each other, when Hikaru comes along, with a pretty dress)

Lantis: Hello, Hikaru! (leaves Eagle to go to Hikaru)

Eagle: Well, at least I keep my neck.

Tatra: (giggles) Hey, there, Eagle. Wanna dance?

Eagle: SURE!!

Tarta: (scoffs) Tatra, I thought you were Geo's admirer?

Tatra: Who needs Geo when there's someone better?

Geo: Grr…

Tarta: Oh, don't worry, Geo, there's always Caldina.

Caldina: Yoohoo! Lafarga!

Lafarga: (with bandages everywhere) Hey, Caldina!

Caldina: Come on, you big lug, let's dance!

Tarta: Oh, um…forget Caldina.

Geo: Hey, Tarta, how about you?

Tarta: (scratches head) Well, it is a movie…

Zazu: Oh, look! Mokona's got Primera trapped in the case!

Lantis: Hey, how come Primera has decided to show up now?

(the ballroom dims, and a disco ball came up at the top. Zazu, who is the DJ, starts to play and sing to the songs)

Zazu: Do a little dance! Make a little love! Get down tonight! Yeah yeah! Get down tonight!

Mokona: PU PU PU PU PU PU PU PU!

Geo: SHOOT THE ANIMAL!

Scene 17

(Aska marches in, with Sang Yung following her)

Aska: (clears throat) And so ends the story of Genius and the Beast. Would you like to know what happened to everyone?

Sang Yung: Yes, Lady Aska.

Aska: THEY ALL DIED!

Sang Yung: LADY ASKA!

Aska: Okay, they all didn't die…Fuu and Ferio lived happily ever after, duh. Eagle, who should be dead, is not dead anymore, and still has the FTO in his possessions. He went back to Autozam with Geo and Zazu, wreaking havoc there by speaking French and singing horrible songs.

Eagle: Pardon mademoiselle! I think you have got it all wrong, non?

Aska: See what I mean? But unfortunately, Eagle's still got lots of admirers…

Admirers: YEAH!! WOOHOOO!!!

Geo and Zazu: Voulez-vous cuchere avec mois, se soir! Voulez-vous cuchere avec moi!

People in Autozam: AAAAAH!!!!! NOOO!!!!

Aska: Now, as I was saying….SHUT UP!

(silence)

Aska: Lantis, well, he's got it good, too, I guess. Primera is finally gone, Hikaru is with him, and well, Eagle still visits him…sometimes…

Eagle: Hey, Lantis! Wassup!

Lantis: …Leave me alone. I don't want you here.

Eagle: But…Lantis…I'm your friend!

Hikaru: Eh…Why did I get stuck here?

Sang Yung: Um…Lady Aska, please continue.

Aska: As for Umi, she's the head of the kitchens, making cakes and singing beautifully! How wonderful!

Umi: You forgot about Clef and Ascot.

Aska: Okay, Ascot is now summoning up the right beasts, and is living happily with Caldina, who is also with Lafarga, and they are all in the castle, with Clef, who is happy now that he owns it.

Clef: HAPPY?! IT'S PINK!

Aska: Sang Yung!

Sang Yung: HAI!

Aska: Please polish the castle until it is no longer pink, Clef is bothering me.

Sang Yung: HAI! (waves his hands and Clef's castle is no longer pink)

Clef: YAY! MY CASTLE IS BACK TO NORMAL!

Ferio: I'm still prince, though.

Clef: Ah…shut up!

Aska: Presea is still around, having the time of her life in the Bahamas.

Presea: Yep…I'm getting me a tan out here!

Aska: Tarta and Tatra went back to Chizeta, but you could sometimes see them visiting Autozam, for goodness knows what…

Tatra: (giggles) Hey, Tarta, why are you blushing when Geo's around?

Tarta: I'm not blushing!

Aska: (sweatdrop) And…as for Albert Einstein…

Einstein: Awesome! Where's the fifth book of Magic Knight Rayearth?

Fuu: Well, Ferio didn't buy it yet…

Einstein: WHAT?! But I want to read it right now! This is so good! This is better than the biology book that I borrowed from Lafarga!

Fuu: I know, right?

Aska: And…well…there you have it! The complete ending to the wonderful epic tale of Genius and the Beast! Role the ending credits, Mokona!

(while ending credits are playing, Lafarga gets the hold of the nearest radio and starts playing Nelly's song - #1, and everyone is dancing)

Characters:

Fuu the Genius – Houoji Fuu

The Beast – Ferio

The Bad Guy – Geo Metro

The Bad Guy's Assistant – Zazu

Fuu's father – Ascot

Candlestick – Eagle Vision

Clock – Kailu Lantis

Teapot – Ryuuzaki Umi

Teacup – Guru Clef

Wardrobe – Shidou Hikaru

3 Bad Guy Admirers – Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina

Broom – Presea

Baker – Lafarga

Bartender – Lafarga

Castle Cook – Lafarga

Dog – Lafarga

Librarian – Lafarga

Any other extra – Lafarga

Man with tankard of ale (Tom) – Brad Pitt

Albert Einstein – Brendan Fraser

Narrator – Lady Aska

Directed by Mokona

Costume Design:

Lady Aska

Sang Yung

Choreography:

Lafarga

Eagle Vision

Script:

Mokona

Producer:

Emeraude and Zagato

Cephiro Studios is proud to tell you that action figures  
will be available two months after this movie will debut in theatres near you.  
Warner Bros. has no claim, and Cephiro Studios will only be partners with Walt Disney.   
Thank you for reading, but if you were reading this small lettering,  
then I would tell you that you were only wasting your time. Now go away.

Fuu: Thank you! Thank you for coming! Have a nice day! Bye bye! Remember, please put all soda bottles and plastics in the nearest trash receptacles. Thank you! Bye! Bye bye now! Bye!

Mokona: PU PU PU!


End file.
